R.i.p. superwoman
In honor of Independence Day, I now declare myself free of the Superwoman Myth. That myth that started in the 60’s that says women can have it all. A later version of this is “We can have it all, just not at the same time.”
This superwoman myth drives many of us to work longer than we should, take on projects we don’t want to do, say yes when we mean no, push ourselves with no sleep to take care of family, friends and community. All because there are women out there who do this successfully and we think we should do the same. We don’t want to admit we have limits.
You may not agree with me, however, I believe that women are more effective when we are more focused and don’t spread our energy and our precious time across many responsibilities, tasks, commitments, relationships and opportunities.
I’ve decided I want to liberate myself from feeling like I have to do it all. I grew up when women first gained access to birth control, which gave us the freedom to work outside the home. What we took on as a gender is that we can maintain the home plus do all the outside activities. With more money coming in to the family, the kids were free to participate in more activities. Moms ran (and still do) around like crazy because no one realized the model of the perfect family was now changing. As a result, the Superwoman was born, because we didn’t want to admit we couldn’t do it all and we didn’t know how to talk about it and ask for what we needed and wanted.
From now on, I’m going to listen to my thoughts when they are telling me that I have to do something or I should do something. I’m going to liberate myself from the tyranny of those words and ask myself if there are other ways something can get done, particularly when I have a lot of deadlines and family responsibilities for example. I don’t have to assume that I am the only one who can do it all or that I do it better and faster than someone else would. That is a Superwoman myth.
I admit this is easier to write than to do. What I do know is that when women are rested and relaxed, nurtured and fulfilled that the whole family benefits. During this month, our celebration of freedom for our country, decide what you want to be free of in your life. What do you want to let go of?
Just for the next few days, experiment with doing what you want, when you want and schedule yourself some flexible time. Instead of giving it away to other people around you, claim back some time for you. This morning, I decided to write this article first instead jumping into my long to-do list. Of course I’ll get to my list; however, writing is enjoyable for me and with less time, I’ll get those things done faster anyway.
Ban the Superwoman and enjoy life!
Kathy Garland offers programs that awaken the soul of women leaders to enhance their wealth, balance and freedom. www.kathygarland.com.
More movie one-liners:
“just keep swimming, just keep swimming…” Dori, Nemo Thanks to Dawn Mallory, www.autograf.com
"You’re everything I never knew I always wanted" - Fools Rush In
Thanks to Jackie Christophis, Novus Transportation
Just for fun
It’s a hot summer night and I’m doing the dishes. During dinner, I spent a few minutes reading through Twitter Power, by Joel Comm. Musing about how to use Twitter and being a little bored with doing dishes, the thought crossed my mind that it would be fun to collect one-liners or short snippets of conversation from movies by posting this question on Twitter. I like to use movie one-liners and quotes in articles, teleclasses and speeches to liven up my content. Here are a few of my favorite one-liners and I’d love for you to post yours by commenting on this post. I’ll also post the question on Twitter and then upload one-liners and quips here.
Favorites from Jerry Maguire:
- "If this [pointing to his heart] is empty, this [pointing to his head] doesn’t matter." – Dicky Fox, Jerry Maguire’s mentor
- “You had me at hello.” Dorothy
- “Help me help you.” Jerry
Others:
“You are the only authority on what is not possible for you.” Vince Freeman, Gattaca
“Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.” Yoda, Star Wars Character
Post your favorite movie one-liners by commenting on this post – clean, preferably funny or inspirational.
Meanwhile, enjoy your summer and get out there and have some fun.
Kathy Garland offers programs that awaken the soul of women leaders to enhance their wealth, balance and freedom, www.kathygarland.com.
raising young women as fearless leaders
Recently, I had the opportunity to be interviewed by Dr. Minette Riordan, radio host and publisher of North Texas Kids. We talked about raising young women to be fearless leaders. You can listen to the podcast at http://northtexaskids.podbean.com/ by scrolling down to find Show #13 on June 3.
As grown women, we have a responsibility to our younger counterparts, whether they be our daughters, nieces, Scouts or young women in our workplace or neighborhood.
Any time I talk to a client who works with women or coaches women, they confide in me that having confidence is still a problem for women. Having confidence is a key to being fearless. Being fearless comes from knowing who you are and being certain where you are going.
Why is it important to be fearless? Being fearless means that we offer our best, we don’t hold back, we say what we need and don’t over-think what we know is right to do. By being fearless, we impact not only our own sense of being, but also our self-reliance and confidence as well as the results we create.
How do we raise our daughters and mentor other young women to be fearless? I talked to my daughter, Jenny, who is 29 and asked her what she learned growing up. She said that since I exhibited confidence, she learned from that. She also said that we let her explore her own interests. That’s important for a young person growing up to be able to develop her own interests even if it is something you don’t know about. She wanted to join the swim team and it was a pivotal experience for her. Not something I had done in school or could help her with, but encouraged her all the way. She eventually became one of the co-captains of the team.
Two of the best ways to mentor young women to be confident and fearless are to step into that confident space for yourself and encourage them to explore their own interests and contribute their ideas.
Doing those two things will go a long way toward raising young women to be fearless and stepping into their true potential.
Kathy Garland offers programs that awaken the soul of women leaders to enhance their wealth, balance and freedom, www.kathygarland.com.
everything starts with imagination
Last week, when I was at Walt Disney World in Florida. I had so much fun because creativity and imagination is all around. Vivid colors, flourishing costumes, cheerful music, interactive exhibits, fun rides and dedicated performers contribute to a magical experience. We enjoyed an international flower festival at Epcot, featuring multiple live-plant sculptures of Disney characters. It added a lot of personality and visual appeal to the park, not to mention hundreds more Kodak moments.
One afternoon, we caught a Celebration parade at the Magic Kingdom. I was like a little girl when Mickey came right up and waved at me. Silly me!
One of the exhibits I liked the most was one I wasn’t particularly interested in. You know that giant earth-shaped exhibit at the entrance to Epcot? It has a communications exhibit/ride inside that traces the history of communication from the beginning of mankind from cavemen drawing on the walls to the latest in telecommunications. On the way back down from the top of the globe, there is an interactive exercise which engaged my imagination.
Using an interactive touch screen, I entered preferences for how I’d like to work in the future. In a few seconds, a customized video/cartoon played back my preferences in a story. The fascinating thing is that a digital photo of each person is taken at the first of the ride and then inserted into the video. I loved it when my digital self was working at the beach!
This kind of playful imagination is just what leaders need. We need time to engage the fun parts of us in order to regenerate our energy, our minds and the idea factory in our head. Make time for fun as much as you can to free up your mind for better and more clear decisions and to relieve stress as well.
Kathy Garland offers programs that awaken the soul of women leaders to enhance their wealth, balance and freedom, www.kathygarland.com.
Being Fearless
One of the trademark qualities of strong brands and successful leaders is courage.
It takes courage to step out and step up when times are uncertain or resources are scarce.
Are you thinking about expanding your business?
Applying for a new job?
Transitioning from your corporate job to starting your own business?
Making a personal decision that will change your life?
These decisions require courage to plan a direction and get into action.
I work with people who are ready to step up and want support from someone who is able to reflect what they truly want. Often, during change and transition, people’s desires are jumbled up and there are conflicting or multiple goals. I work with my clients to sort these out and simplify and clarify their thinking.
People going through change need to summon all their courage. How do people get past fear, which holds so many people back from expanding and changing into who they really want to be and the success they know their business can be?
Here are two things necessary to make transitions and change more fearless for people:
1. Vision - having a clear vision of the destination or goal is essential. Without a vision, it’s like driving in a foreign country without a map or knowing the language.
2. Confidence - people who take time to define their personal or business brand find clarity in who they are and what they are best at. This builds confidence so they keep taking steps toward their goals, instead of staying in the safety of their current situation.
Everyone has some type of fear. Life doesn’t exist without it. Successful people know how to master their fears.
Does fear stop you from taking action and playing big? If so, I encourage you to contact me for a personal branding session to boost your confidence. In addition, visit www.fearless-manifesting.com for details on a program I offer with Tina Ferguson, www.rapidsuccesspartners.com so you can experience the power of fearless manifesting. We have a three-part teleseminar series you can register for at no cost to you.
I’m off to Disney Hollywood Studio to ride the Tower of Terror - a 13-foot drop in the dark!
Have a fearless day!
Kathy Garland offers programs that awaken the soul of women leaders to enhance their wealth, balance and freedom, www.kathygarland.com.
power of reframing
The story below is a great reminder of the power of being positive.
Some years ago a shoe manufacturer ran an ad on slippers.
The headline under the picture of the slippers read:
“Keeps feet from getting cold.” The ad was a flop. Then the ad manager changed the headline to read: “Keeps feet warm and comfortable.” Sales picked up immediately. From “The Speaker’s Quote Book” by Roy B. Zuck
People respond to what they want and what makes them feel good and move away from what makes them uncomfortable. As the ad manager discovered, the same shoes sold much better with a positive message.
As a leader, you set the tone for performance for your team. When you frame a situation or opportunity in a positive way, people can think of possibilities instead of focusing on the obstacles.
This is a classic example of reframing – taking an event or situation and looking at it from a different point of view. When someone doesn’t understand or get your point, try reframing the situation or your conversation. You can dramatically influence results simply by reframing.
Kathy Garland International, www.kathygarland.com offers programs that awaken the soul of women leaders to enhance their wealth, balance and freedom.
successful speaking
Whether you are a professional speaker, make presentations to your local networking group, looking for a job or make professional presentations as part of your sales process, you will benefit from reading the best seller, “The Exceptional Presenter” by Timothy J. Koegel, http://www.presentationacademy.com/.
The author promises content to show the reader how to open up and own the room. His simple OPEN UP! formula is easy to implement and remember. If you love to speak, it will make your speaking better. If you hate to speak, it will de-mystify the process.
It’s the best book I’ve seen on speaking. I love the sketches he shows of effective and not so effective body language. A friend of mine was flipping through the book and laughed when she identified her own habits with the T-Rex posture. That is when speakers clinch their hands in front of their chest in a nervous gesture, resembling the T-Rex profile.
When I speak, I tend to use my arms and hands a lot. According to the book, it is effective to use arm and hand gestures while talking, although in strategic ways to match your talking points. I am practicing keeping my arms at my side (not easy I will tell you.) You can practice keeping your arms still while you are in line, during the national anthem at an event, in church while standing and at cocktail parties and networking events.
At $21.95, it’s a necessary book for your career toolbox. Find it on The Exceptional Presenter ($14.93 plus shipping.)
Kathy Garland International, www.kathygarland.com offering programs that awaken the soul of women leaders to enhance their wealth, balance and freedom.
working with intention
At the end of my morning yoga DVD session, the suggestion is given to “State one intention for today, such as ‘I will breathe.’” Intention is a driving force that can shape the outcome of your day. Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary states that intention is “a determination to act in a certain way,”
Stating an intention is a mindful way to approach your life. Yes you can get a lot accomplished without purposefully stating an intention though you will notice more energy and focus by beginning with an intention.
The yoga instructor, Suzanne Deason, asks the participant to state one intention. I like that approach because often we go about our day with multiple demands on our time and we have high expectations for ourselves. Use one intention each day to focus on your being and how you show up.
You will work smarter when you begin your day with an intention. Examples are:
- I have a positive outlook today.
- I am patient today.
- I am confident today.
- I am a great listener today.
Your intention will change based on the outcomes you want to create and what is on your schedule. If you are traveling to the Northeast, for example, being patient might be a good intention for you because of the normal delays that happen. If you have a number of sales appointments, focusing on being a great listener will improve your results. You’ll be delighted at your experiences once you begin to work with intention.
www.kathygarland.com offering programs that awaken the soul of women leaders to enhance their wealth, balance and freedom.
building a personal brand
Capt. Sullenberger, the US Airways pilot who guided that plane to safety in the Hudson River is suddenly famous and has a lot of what is called personal brand equity and great reputation. This is an example of someone who is excellent at his work and when duty calls, performed in an outstanding and life-saving manner.
He didn’t create the expertise in the moment. He’s gone about preparing, studying, practicing being his best for years and suddenly had the opportunity to put it all together. I would say not something he ever wants to repeat.
The important concept here is that you’ve got to be ready, you’ve got to be consistent in who you are and what you deliver. Over time, when you have your moment in the spotlight, you’ll show up powerfully and someone people will want to know and have on their team.
www.kathygarland.com offering programs that awaken the soul of women leaders to enhance their wealth, balance and freedom.
Take time out
I’ve been without a computer three different times since the first of December due to various hardware failures on two computers. It’s been a big detriment to my productivity and quite frustrating. I finally figured out that I can come to the public library and use a computer. Pretty simple!
Now that I’m here I am getting a lot done. Sometimes I need to be reminded it’s best to take myself out of my everyday environment to be able to think and open up new ideas.
I was reminded of the library’s resources last week when I took time out of my day to do something I wanted to do. I was drawn to the library and came in to walk around and discovered the computer lab.
It’s not easy to do but once you start scheduling time out of your office to do something you want, you’ll make new contacts, find new ideas and refresh your mind. Once a week is a wonderful goal to take 30 minutes or one hour to do something you’ve always wanted to do.
The idea is to do things you are drawn to do. You never know what may open up as a result.
You can read prior blog posts at www.kathygarland.com/blog.